Being Film #12 for Hooptober 2023
You probably know what to expect with a title like The Moleman of Belmont Avenue. This is a low budget horror comedy that strives to be silly but does so at the expense of characters we actually care about. I wish I liked it more: the leads (who also wrote and directed) are fine if a bit over zealous in selling their comedy, and the effects and camera work are pretty solid. But in the end the best I can say is that after a long 90 minutes I knocked two requirements off my Hooptober list. Also spoiler: yes, Robert Englund is in this, but barely. You’ve been warned.
THE QUICK SUMMARY: Jarmon and Marion Mugg attempt to manage the shabby apartment building after the death of their mother, but it’s hard when one of them flits off on wild goose dreams and the other pines after the basement bartender who really wants nothing to do with him. They’re leeching electricity off the church next door, and they just shut the heart off to conserve money. You’d think that’s bad enough, but there’s one more small problem: something is slowly stealing and eating all the tenants’s pets. Soon it’s coming for the tenants themselves and it’s up to Jarmon and Marion to save the day. But they’re not the brightest, or the bravest heroes you could ask for, so buckle up for some weird gay jokes and one scene guest roles and don’t forget: throat, instep, GROIN!
There’s really nothing to write about here. Mike Bradecich and John LaFlamboy (who also direct and wrote the script) do well enough in front of the camera, but it’s the screenplay that fails this one. Certain sequences take too long, and it kind of wastes Englund who basically stands there reacting to what is happening. There’s one bit that ends in a porn joke, but it flops there. Better utilized is Tim Kazurinsky, who comes in for one scene as a down on his luck guy who’s promised a steak dinner if he’ll go into the basement as a sacrifice to the moleman.
Other than that everything else you’d expect is present: there are naked breasts, drugs, misunderstandings with the cops that result in being tased. There’s also the aforementioned gay joke, which makes zero sense except to make our heroes look even worse than they are. And the scene in question would have worked fine had they literally just removed the word “gay” (I’m talking about the scene of Jarmon dancing with the cat). This movie came out in 2011 – we’re beyond that, guys.
All that being said, I’m not mad at The Moleman of Belmont Avenue. It looks like it was made in earnest, there’s a certain charm to Bradecich and LaFlamboy, and the moleman stuff is fun. Sometimes though you just want more.
Cinema Dual 
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