Shaken, Not Stirred takes a (brief) look at the James Bond canon from Eon Productions. Twice a month, Chris and Jon share their impressions of each film, both on its own terms and in terms of the cultural landscape as well as the genre it helped to create, not to mention its intersection in the Cinema Dual hosts’ lives.

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FROM THE (LETTER)BOX(D): JAMES BOND’S ALL TIME HIGH! James Bond is sent to investigate after a fellow “00” agent is found dead with a priceless Indian Fabergé egg. Bond follows the mystery and uncovers a smuggling scandal and a Russian General who wants to provoke a new World War.

WHAT CHRIS THOUGHT: Do I love Octopussy? Yeah, I kinda do. Do I also think Octopussy is a bad movie? Yeah, I kinda do…but I’ll still take it over For Your Eyes Only or Live and Let Die.

Make of that what you will, but by way of explanation, this WAS James Bond for me. The first one I saw in the theater and, rewatching it now, the one I unconsciously held as my “definition” of a Bond film. Huge epic sets, vast locations, incredible gadgets, and terrifying henchmen…for a 10-year-old kid, seeing things like the crocodile submersible, or the iconic moment when Gobinda, henchman to Villain #1 Kamal Khan, crushes a pair of dice in his fists, the dust spilling in front of Bond’s eyes…man.

Just…man.

Scenes like that, or the murder of 009 in the clown suit in the film’s cold open, or the frankly incredible train sequence hold in my mind the same way scenes from Raiders of the Lost Ark latch themselves to the meat of your memory. They’re all part of the world I created as a kid in my imagination…a world where I could watch someone who could succeed with flair against any odds, get any woman, steal a Fabergé egg right out from under an auctioneer’s eye, and save the world…impeccably dressed. Watching it now in my 50s, those moments still tug, but they’re colored by more subtle observations, like how Bond treats each of the two women he sleeps with, and how—for once—one of them isn’t simply refrigerated to make our hero get gulp emotional. In fact, with Octopussy, I think I’m finally comfortable enough to say it: Moore might be the best Bond when it comes to sexual liberation and loving who you are.

WHAT JON THOUGHT: Going into this series, I assumed Octopussy would be the worst Bond movie, based on the title. Having now seen it, I have to revisit my assumptions because the movie’s title might be the most memorable thing about it. I will elaborate on the film’s charms later, but my previous hypothesis about Bond movies being built around good stories or great villains will have to be revised to remove any guarantees of quality. I think the film’s three villains are excellently cast. Maud Adams makes a welcome return to the franchise, this time as the titular character, a businesswoman and self-described cult leader. I’ve said it before: having age-appropriate (for Bond, anyway) relationships for Bond generally and especially old Roger Moore just makes for a much better moviegoing experience. Louis Jourdan is a total charmer as Kamal Khan. And Steven Berkoff absolutely steals the movie as the renegade Soviet General Orlov.

It’s a shame, then, that the movie never gives them enough screen time to fully develop their relationships. The betrayal of Octopussy doesn’t land when you barely understand how the three of them relate to each other. I’ll go one step further and say that, outside a vague notion of selling fake Fabergé eggs to fund a scheme that will result in a Soviet invasion of Western Europe, the plot itself barely holds together. And if you’re not going to give the whole movie to a maniac like Steven Berkoff, why bother?

Fortunately, there are enough silly moments and set pieces to keep me going. Once you get past the Indiana Jones levels of cultural sensitivity, there’s a henchman with a buzzsaw he throws like a yo-yo. The army in the movie’s obligatory big showdown is a troupe of circus performers, which is delightful. The twin knife-throwing assassins are a nice bit of flavor. Similarly, getting Roger Moore into a clown suit, where he looks like Conan O’Brien, also got a chuckle out of me. Probably the biggest laugh, however, was in the train sequence, watching the car get thrown into the water like it was an errant football. I suspect Octopussy didn’t resonate as much for me as it did for Chris, but there were amusing moments to be sure.

ANYTHING ELSE, CHRIS? Jon and I spoke about this during our respective viewings, and I agree with him—as silly as it is plot-wise to have Q out in the field supporting Bond, any opportunity for Desmond Llewelyn to really get into a scene is a welcome delight, and his adventures with Bond and local agent Vijay (played by Vijay Amritraj) not only serve as a highlight of the film but also provide some much-needed poignancy as events get dire.

The major set pieces all work like gangbusters, and despite Roger Moore running around in a clown suit during the climax, it never feels silly. Does Roger Moore hiding in a gorilla suit work? No, sir, it does not—and those repeated shots of Moore’s terrified eyes peering out make for a visual that will never leave me. Nor will the most spectacular sequence in a Bond film yet: during a crazy fight with a dude wielding a Shaw Bros.-style ball and chain with a circular saw, Bond smashes a man into an aquarium, where a deadly octopus attaches itself to the man’s face and…

…proceeds to mercilessly face-hump him.

If that weren’t glorious enough—and it’s so glorious John Glen made sure to cut back to it—Octopussy’s all-female assassin squad bursts in, dressed like The Flash meets Super Grover.

Did I mention I kinda love Octopussy?

ANYTHING ELSE, JON? In our contingent of supporting characters, Robert Brown is the new M but never gets to mix it up with Bond. Lois Maxwell gets her best scene with Bond in a long time in a conversation about their increasing ages. I don’t care how little sense it makes—I love it any time Desmond Llewelyn gets to leave the office, and this time he gets to make an ED joke at Roger Moore’s expense. I’m a simple man. And although I have no deeper insight, I do love that we have at least three Star Wars alums in the mix: Bruce Boa, Richard LeParmentier, and Boba Fett himself, Jeremy Bulloch.

There’s been a recurring character type I haven’t kept up with as much in this series, and it is the local fixer. Bond in his travels almost always has someone to show him around and become the sidekick for the movie. In Octopussy, that role goes to Vijay, played by pro tennis player (and Star Trek alum) Vijay Amritraj. While my eyes wouldn’t stop rolling when he charmed a snake with the literal Bond theme, he gets a terrific car chase, and the movie gives him a surprisingly emotional sendoff when he dies.

I do want to end on a positive note about the action set pieces. All the stuff on the train, as well as Bond hanging off the side of the plane as it takes off, feels like a direct precursor to the Mission: Impossible film series, though of course Roger Moore isn’t doing his own stunts, despite being as old as, if not older than, Tom Cruise was when he actually did hang off planes. Director John Glen’s instincts for action are his best contributions to the franchise.

THE FINAL WORD(S): For Jon, the film overcame his preconceptions and was an enjoyable two hours. For Chris, his childhood came back alive, and he wishes this could be the final Moore outing.

NEXT TIME: HAS JAMES BOND FINALLY MET HIS MATCH? IT’S A VIEW TO A KILL!